1 00:00:09,750 --> 00:00:11,416 Congratulations. 2 00:00:11,500 --> 00:00:13,333 [Howard the Duck] Oh, my God! Darce, I'm kvelling. 3 00:00:13,416 --> 00:00:15,125 I am positively kvelling right now. 4 00:00:15,208 --> 00:00:17,333 -It looks just like me. -[Howard the Duck] Hey! Look over here. 5 00:00:17,416 --> 00:00:18,625 -Let me just get your eyes. -No. 6 00:00:18,708 --> 00:00:20,916 -I wanna get the light on your eyes. -Nine hours of labor. 7 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:22,791 -It's so cinematic. -I'm covered in sweat. 8 00:00:22,875 --> 00:00:24,208 -This is not a good look. -[nurse] Oh. 9 00:00:24,291 --> 00:00:26,500 -Would you like me to hold the camera? -Oh, that's perfect. 10 00:00:26,583 --> 00:00:28,333 Make sure you frame all three of us, please? 11 00:00:28,416 --> 00:00:31,041 -Howard, it's our baby. -[laughs] 12 00:00:31,125 --> 00:00:32,541 Or it will be, right? 13 00:00:32,625 --> 00:00:34,416 When do you think this thing is gonna hatch? 14 00:00:34,500 --> 00:00:37,541 I don't know. It's gonna hatch in... you know, uh... 15 00:00:38,291 --> 00:00:39,625 whatever the normal... 16 00:00:40,750 --> 00:00:45,083 [The Watcher] In an instant, Howard and Darcy The Duck's whole world changed. 17 00:00:45,166 --> 00:00:46,166 Little did they know 18 00:00:46,250 --> 00:00:49,291 their child was destined to change everyone else's too. 19 00:00:52,583 --> 00:00:53,625 [The Watcher] Time. 20 00:00:56,875 --> 00:00:57,958 Space. 21 00:00:59,666 --> 00:01:00,708 Reality. 22 00:01:03,583 --> 00:01:05,250 It's more than a linear path. 23 00:01:10,125 --> 00:01:14,625 It's a prism of endless possibility, 24 00:01:17,166 --> 00:01:20,583 where a single choice can branch out into infinite realities, 25 00:01:23,375 --> 00:01:26,125 creating alternate worlds from the ones you know. 26 00:01:30,250 --> 00:01:31,583 I am the Watcher. 27 00:01:33,833 --> 00:01:37,000 I am your guide through these vast new realities. 28 00:01:38,416 --> 00:01:41,916 Follow me and ponder the question... 29 00:01:45,583 --> 00:01:47,208 "What if?" 30 00:01:47,291 --> 00:01:49,416 [KISS "I Was Made for Lovin' You" playing] 31 00:01:52,333 --> 00:01:54,750 [The Watcher] And to think a romance that could change the world, 32 00:01:54,833 --> 00:01:57,000 all began at a party. 33 00:01:57,541 --> 00:02:01,791 An intergalactic blowout thrown by the party prince of Asgard himself... 34 00:02:01,875 --> 00:02:03,083 Huzzah! 35 00:02:03,166 --> 00:02:05,500 -...that introduced Earth to the stars... -[people cheering] 36 00:02:05,583 --> 00:02:08,666 -...and Howard The Duck to Darcy Lewis. -[camera shutter clicking] 37 00:02:08,750 --> 00:02:11,583 Well, it's happy hour. Want some half-priced nachos? 38 00:02:11,666 --> 00:02:14,625 Okay, fine, Duck. But this is not a date. 39 00:02:16,416 --> 00:02:17,708 [The Watcher] She was right. 40 00:02:18,208 --> 00:02:19,416 It was so much more. 41 00:02:21,541 --> 00:02:23,958 I now pronounce you Darcy, and uh, Duck. 42 00:02:24,708 --> 00:02:27,958 [The Watcher] But Howard and Darcy's lives weren't the only ones changed 43 00:02:28,041 --> 00:02:29,750 by Thor's Midgard rager. 44 00:02:29,833 --> 00:02:32,875 The party may have ended but the guests never left, 45 00:02:32,958 --> 00:02:37,166 as the worlds of Earth and the Cosmos became forever intertwined, 46 00:02:37,750 --> 00:02:39,666 just like Howard and Darcy. 47 00:02:39,750 --> 00:02:43,375 [Howard the Duck and Darcy singing] ♪ I was made for lovin' you, baby ♪ 48 00:02:43,458 --> 00:02:45,875 ♪ You were made for lovin' me ♪ 49 00:02:45,958 --> 00:02:46,958 ♪ You know that! ♪ 50 00:02:47,041 --> 00:02:48,750 ♪ I can't get enough of you... ♪ 51 00:02:48,833 --> 00:02:50,375 ♪ I can't get enough of you, Egg baby... ♪ 52 00:02:50,458 --> 00:02:53,916 [Mrs. Switzler] Hey, enough! The '80s called, they want their song back. 53 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:56,125 [laughs] That's so funny. 54 00:02:56,208 --> 00:03:00,583 Or it would be, except for the fact that KISS wrote that song in '79! A-duh! 55 00:03:00,666 --> 00:03:03,958 Sorry, Mrs. Switzler, we're just trying to put the baby to sleep. 56 00:03:04,041 --> 00:03:05,500 [Mrs. Switzler] With what? Torture? 57 00:03:05,583 --> 00:03:08,000 Hey, we worked really hard on those two-part harmonies! 58 00:03:08,083 --> 00:03:10,416 Okay. And I'm sure the baby loves them. 59 00:03:10,500 --> 00:03:12,083 [gasps] Look, look, look. See... 60 00:03:13,041 --> 00:03:14,416 fast asleep. 61 00:03:17,875 --> 00:03:19,833 I don't appreciate how dismissive she is. 62 00:03:19,916 --> 00:03:21,625 [Darcy] Okay, it doesn't matter. 63 00:03:23,125 --> 00:03:24,208 [sighs in relief] 64 00:03:24,291 --> 00:03:26,708 Will you look at us... nesting? 65 00:03:26,791 --> 00:03:28,375 Well, we are the The Ducks. 66 00:03:28,458 --> 00:03:30,791 -I guess that tracks. -[doorbell rings] 67 00:03:30,875 --> 00:03:31,875 -Huh? -[door opens] 68 00:03:33,708 --> 00:03:34,791 You've been served... 69 00:03:34,875 --> 00:03:35,875 -What? -What? No. 70 00:03:35,958 --> 00:03:37,250 Those charges were dropped. 71 00:03:37,333 --> 00:03:38,333 With two tickets. 72 00:03:38,416 --> 00:03:42,000 All expenses paid to the Grandmaster's Grand Cruise Across the Stars. 73 00:03:42,083 --> 00:03:44,083 -Hello. -Wait! For us? 74 00:03:44,166 --> 00:03:46,000 -Targeted advertising. -Oh. 75 00:03:46,083 --> 00:03:48,458 It'll be an experience you'll never forget. 76 00:03:48,958 --> 00:03:51,875 Ahoy there, Sailors of the Stars. 77 00:03:51,958 --> 00:03:56,041 Time to check your worries at the gate, and toss those inhibitions overboard 78 00:03:56,125 --> 00:03:58,750 because when you're riding on the SS Grand Master, 79 00:03:58,833 --> 00:04:01,583 adventure has no boundaries. 80 00:04:01,666 --> 00:04:04,416 [gasps] Howard, have you seen this itinerary? 81 00:04:04,500 --> 00:04:06,958 Couples cliff diving on Vormir... 82 00:04:07,041 --> 00:04:10,458 Oh, yeah, they say you can only truly appreciate it with someone you love. 83 00:04:10,541 --> 00:04:14,000 [gasps] Oh, a lava boat ride through the canals of Muspelheim. 84 00:04:14,083 --> 00:04:17,541 Wait, you don't think that could, like, hard-boil our baby or anything, right? 85 00:04:17,625 --> 00:04:20,625 Darce, you heard the lady. This is a family cruise line. 86 00:04:20,708 --> 00:04:22,333 -They know what they're doing. -Of course. 87 00:04:22,416 --> 00:04:25,333 Now come on, I wanna hit that buffet before everyone breathes on it. 88 00:04:25,416 --> 00:04:28,166 -[Bifrost whirs] -Howard, oh, my God! Hold on to the baby. 89 00:04:28,250 --> 00:04:30,166 -The baby, get it. -[Howard the Duck] All right, I got it. 90 00:04:30,250 --> 00:04:31,250 Whoa! Oh-ho! 91 00:04:31,333 --> 00:04:33,958 -We're floating! -I see we're lightening up already. 92 00:04:34,041 --> 00:04:36,458 [digital whirring, beeping] 93 00:04:36,541 --> 00:04:37,916 I got eyes on the package. 94 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:40,291 Inform the buyer we'll intercept it off-world. 95 00:04:43,750 --> 00:04:45,541 -Oh, boy! -This is very nice. 96 00:04:45,625 --> 00:04:47,708 This is just too much. Look at us. 97 00:04:47,791 --> 00:04:49,916 -I know. Look at us. -Lei for your neck. 98 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:52,458 Welcome cocktail to lower inhibitions. 99 00:04:52,541 --> 00:04:55,458 Darcy, check out these leis. They're not even plastic. 100 00:04:55,541 --> 00:04:56,958 That is a classy touch. 101 00:04:57,041 --> 00:05:00,125 Ooh, and this welcome drink. It tastes like a warm hug, 102 00:05:00,208 --> 00:05:02,000 and vodka, mostly vodka. 103 00:05:02,083 --> 00:05:03,791 -Here. Have another. -Have another. 104 00:05:03,875 --> 00:05:06,000 -[laughs] -Okay. That's not-- 105 00:05:06,083 --> 00:05:08,250 [Grandmaster] Please, I insist. 106 00:05:08,333 --> 00:05:10,541 On the SS Grand Master, it's not a bad decision 107 00:05:10,625 --> 00:05:13,625 -if you don't remember it. -Oh, my God! Howard! It's the guy. 108 00:05:13,708 --> 00:05:15,250 -I gotta fight this guy? -No, no, no. 109 00:05:15,333 --> 00:05:16,833 -DJ Foam. -DJ Foam! 110 00:05:16,916 --> 00:05:18,291 -Yeah. -The Grandmaster. 111 00:05:18,375 --> 00:05:19,416 [speaking French] 112 00:05:19,500 --> 00:05:21,916 Bowing is optional. I'm not that big of a deal. 113 00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:24,625 -I take that back. I am a big deal. -[laughs] Hey! 114 00:05:24,708 --> 00:05:27,583 Really, we cannot thank you enough for these tickets. 115 00:05:27,666 --> 00:05:31,125 Ah, for you crazy kids? Nothing I love more than a wholesome-- 116 00:05:31,208 --> 00:05:34,000 -Oh! Oh! -[Darcy] Uh... 117 00:05:34,083 --> 00:05:38,291 This must be the adorable little reason we're all here today. 118 00:05:39,541 --> 00:05:40,541 Now, look at this. 119 00:05:40,625 --> 00:05:43,416 Now, what you have here is the Galaxy's finest selection 120 00:05:43,500 --> 00:05:47,916 of sitters, swaddlers, sleep trainers, nannies, au pairs, governesses, plus... 121 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:50,250 Topaz here is actually an excellent wet nurse. 122 00:05:50,333 --> 00:05:51,333 That part's extra. 123 00:05:51,416 --> 00:05:52,625 All at your disposal. 124 00:05:52,708 --> 00:05:56,416 So you two can enjoy some much-deserved mommy and daddy time. 125 00:05:56,500 --> 00:05:57,500 [both] Uh... 126 00:05:58,583 --> 00:06:00,458 I mean, he doesn't not have a point. 127 00:06:00,625 --> 00:06:01,625 Mmm. 128 00:06:03,458 --> 00:06:05,041 [sighs] Wow! 129 00:06:05,125 --> 00:06:06,208 First-time parents? 130 00:06:06,291 --> 00:06:08,250 Mm-hmm. Yep. Our first one. 131 00:06:09,250 --> 00:06:10,416 Yeah, I can tell. 132 00:06:11,166 --> 00:06:15,166 [Topaz] The Grandmaster's Grand Welcome Brunch will begin shortly. 133 00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:19,666 The "Grand" part wasn't false advertising, I'll give him that. This is quite grand. 134 00:06:19,750 --> 00:06:25,416 Now, of course, our guests of honor have a special seat reserved for them 135 00:06:25,500 --> 00:06:27,291 at the head of the table. 136 00:06:27,375 --> 00:06:28,375 [both] Oh! 137 00:06:28,458 --> 00:06:30,166 -Well, that's nice. -Very fancy. 138 00:06:30,250 --> 00:06:32,208 -The chair is well-padded. -Ahem, ahem! 139 00:06:32,291 --> 00:06:36,583 Diners and dinettes, gather in, settle down. 140 00:06:37,458 --> 00:06:38,458 -Hmm. -[whirs] 141 00:06:38,541 --> 00:06:42,041 And, uh, most importantly, raise a glass. 142 00:06:42,750 --> 00:06:45,083 Hope you all came hungry, because once you get a taste... 143 00:06:45,166 --> 00:06:47,625 Quite the hoopla just for breakfast, huh? 144 00:06:48,583 --> 00:06:51,750 Hey! Hey, Howard, Howard, I can't make heads or tails of this menu. 145 00:06:51,833 --> 00:06:53,666 -You speak, uh, hoity-toity? -I do not. 146 00:06:53,750 --> 00:06:55,625 But my phone does. [chuckles] 147 00:06:55,708 --> 00:06:57,041 Yeah, let's see what we got. 148 00:06:57,125 --> 00:06:59,625 Here we go. "The Grandmaster invites you 149 00:06:59,708 --> 00:07:02,541 "to feast on Howard and Darcy The Duck." 150 00:07:02,625 --> 00:07:03,625 Wait! What? 151 00:07:04,208 --> 00:07:06,333 Wait, wait, wait. It's "feast your eyes." 152 00:07:06,416 --> 00:07:08,500 "Feast your eyes." Okay, I guess that's nice. 153 00:07:08,583 --> 00:07:10,875 -[♪ upbeat disco music playing] -[Grandmaster] Ah... 154 00:07:10,958 --> 00:07:13,583 Uh, today's special 155 00:07:13,666 --> 00:07:18,375 is an entrée, uh-huh, like no other. 156 00:07:18,458 --> 00:07:21,000 Born of two worlds... 157 00:07:21,083 --> 00:07:22,291 Born of two worlds? 158 00:07:22,375 --> 00:07:25,416 ...a true cosmic wonder. 159 00:07:25,500 --> 00:07:27,708 [explosion] 160 00:07:27,791 --> 00:07:29,458 -[Darcy] Uh, Howard... -Wait, it says, 161 00:07:29,541 --> 00:07:32,250 "To feast your eyes on Howard and Darcy The Duck's 162 00:07:32,333 --> 00:07:33,500 -"homemade..." -Howard! 163 00:07:33,583 --> 00:07:35,875 Oh, no, is this supposed to be a potluck? 164 00:07:35,958 --> 00:07:37,333 [flames crackling] 165 00:07:37,458 --> 00:07:38,500 [Darcy] Howard! 166 00:07:38,583 --> 00:07:40,541 -Look at the baby! -Yep. Hold on. 167 00:07:40,625 --> 00:07:41,625 [digital beeps] 168 00:07:41,708 --> 00:07:43,583 [gasps] Darce, they wanna eat the baby! 169 00:07:43,666 --> 00:07:46,500 No, duh, Howard, we've got a Hannibal Lecter situation! 170 00:07:47,875 --> 00:07:52,291 Oh, let the brunch begi-- [groans] 171 00:07:52,375 --> 00:07:54,875 -[laughs] -[thuds] 172 00:07:54,958 --> 00:07:58,791 What? Oh, my gosh! Captain Mohawk saved our baby! 173 00:07:58,875 --> 00:08:01,791 Sorry to spoil y'all's breakfast, folks. [whistles] 174 00:08:01,875 --> 00:08:05,208 But I was hopin' to grab a little somethin' to go. Ta-ta! 175 00:08:05,708 --> 00:08:08,333 Oh, my gosh! Captain Mohawk stole our baby! 176 00:08:08,416 --> 00:08:11,083 No, no, no! Hey, Space Pirates! 177 00:08:11,166 --> 00:08:13,000 [Darcy] What're you waiting for? Come on, Duck! 178 00:08:15,291 --> 00:08:17,125 Coast clear, let's get to the life rafts! 179 00:08:18,083 --> 00:08:19,458 All right, here we go! 180 00:08:19,541 --> 00:08:21,083 Howard, are you sure you can fly this? 181 00:08:21,166 --> 00:08:23,833 Are you kidding? I'm a duck. I was born to fly. Strap in. 182 00:08:23,916 --> 00:08:26,791 -[Darcy grunts] -[metal clanging] 183 00:08:26,875 --> 00:08:28,166 [Darcy] Oh, move over! 184 00:08:31,500 --> 00:08:33,791 [Howard the Duck] Faster, baby! Faster! We almost got him! 185 00:08:33,875 --> 00:08:36,041 Aah, come on, get it together, Darcy. 186 00:08:36,125 --> 00:08:37,791 This is just like Galaga. 187 00:08:37,875 --> 00:08:39,500 [both screaming] 188 00:08:41,666 --> 00:08:43,541 [Darcy] Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 189 00:08:46,541 --> 00:08:48,041 -What? -Aah! 190 00:08:48,125 --> 00:08:50,375 -It just-- It just disappear-- -But they were right... 191 00:08:50,458 --> 00:08:54,625 I don't know what we were thinking. Nothing good ever happens on a cruise! 192 00:08:55,291 --> 00:08:57,083 -[sighs] -I'm sorry. 193 00:08:58,291 --> 00:08:59,291 This was a mistake. 194 00:08:59,791 --> 00:09:02,208 Our baby is... gone. 195 00:09:02,791 --> 00:09:04,083 [sighs wearily] 196 00:09:04,166 --> 00:09:05,541 We had one job. 197 00:09:06,500 --> 00:09:07,583 And we failed. 198 00:09:09,083 --> 00:09:10,791 What? What are you doing? 199 00:09:10,875 --> 00:09:13,541 Calling the fuzz! Clearly, we can't do this on our own! 200 00:09:16,583 --> 00:09:18,583 Um, it's about the Convergence case, sir. 201 00:09:18,666 --> 00:09:20,666 This couple could be the lead we've been waiting for. 202 00:09:20,750 --> 00:09:22,041 And what did you say their name was? 203 00:09:22,125 --> 00:09:24,625 -That would be the The Ducks, sir. -Huh? 204 00:09:24,708 --> 00:09:26,791 [Darcy] What the hell is going on, Director? 205 00:09:26,875 --> 00:09:28,875 First the Grandmaster, now the Ravagers? 206 00:09:28,958 --> 00:09:31,166 Why are all these people after our baby? 207 00:09:31,250 --> 00:09:33,916 I assure you, Mr. and Mrs... The Duck, 208 00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:37,791 recovering your egg has become S.H.I.E.L.D.'s priority number one. 209 00:09:37,875 --> 00:09:40,916 Oh, yeah? You and everyone else in the galaxy, apparently. 210 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:43,291 What the hell is so special about our kid, anyway? 211 00:09:43,375 --> 00:09:44,375 -[gasps] Howard! -Ow! 212 00:09:44,458 --> 00:09:46,666 I mean, besides the fact that they're our kid. 213 00:09:46,750 --> 00:09:49,708 What do you know about the Cosmic Convergence? 214 00:09:49,791 --> 00:09:51,625 Wait. The Convergence? 215 00:09:51,708 --> 00:09:54,000 -Wasn't that on my due date? -Exactly. 216 00:09:54,083 --> 00:09:58,000 And many believe the planetary alignment was a sign. 217 00:09:58,083 --> 00:10:00,041 The birth of a great new power. 218 00:10:00,125 --> 00:10:02,541 You think it's our child? 219 00:10:02,625 --> 00:10:04,083 I guess, deep down, I always knew 220 00:10:04,166 --> 00:10:06,416 our little champ was destined for big things. 221 00:10:06,500 --> 00:10:08,333 [Coulson] Uh, a word, sir. 222 00:10:08,958 --> 00:10:10,958 [murmuring] 223 00:10:14,541 --> 00:10:16,833 ...our satellites picked up a Ravager ship making the jump 224 00:10:16,916 --> 00:10:18,208 out of the Cat's Eye Nebula. 225 00:10:18,291 --> 00:10:20,541 It could indicate they're meeting with The Collector. 226 00:10:20,625 --> 00:10:21,625 Hm. 227 00:10:22,583 --> 00:10:25,958 Best you leave this with the experts, Mr. and Mrs... The Duck. 228 00:10:26,458 --> 00:10:31,500 We'll see to it your Egg stays out of the wrong hands. 229 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:33,125 Fury out! 230 00:10:33,625 --> 00:10:35,541 Screw this! Well, I'm not waiting for the five-oh. 231 00:10:35,625 --> 00:10:37,541 If the Ravagers are workin' for The Collector, 232 00:10:37,625 --> 00:10:38,958 then we know where they're headed. 233 00:10:39,041 --> 00:10:40,250 -Where? -Knowhere. 234 00:10:40,333 --> 00:10:41,541 -What? -Knowhere. 235 00:10:41,625 --> 00:10:43,583 Well, they've gotta be going somewhere. 236 00:10:43,666 --> 00:10:44,791 Knowhere. 237 00:10:44,875 --> 00:10:46,125 -Howard? -Knowhere. 238 00:10:46,208 --> 00:10:48,416 Where are they going? 239 00:10:57,833 --> 00:10:59,583 Milord Yondu Udonta, 240 00:10:59,666 --> 00:11:05,500 I present to you, Kaecilius, Master of the Dark Arts. 241 00:11:05,583 --> 00:11:09,500 Only in silence can you hear the whispers from the Dark. 242 00:11:09,583 --> 00:11:10,875 [Yondu] Oh-ho! Whoa! 243 00:11:10,958 --> 00:11:12,666 What happened to The Collector? 244 00:11:12,750 --> 00:11:15,166 He's been... collected. 245 00:11:15,250 --> 00:11:17,375 Trapped inside the Mirror Dimension. 246 00:11:17,458 --> 00:11:19,958 But we knew the most powerful relics in the Cosmos 247 00:11:20,041 --> 00:11:23,750 always seem to find their way here... eventually. 248 00:11:23,833 --> 00:11:26,375 Listen, man. Word on the street here 249 00:11:26,458 --> 00:11:29,416 is that this egg is a pretty hot damn commodity. 250 00:11:29,500 --> 00:11:34,208 I got offers comin' in from Dark Elves and an Olympic God. 251 00:11:34,291 --> 00:11:37,750 You get what I'm sayin'? So, our price just went up. 252 00:11:38,375 --> 00:11:39,541 I'm sorry, Captain, 253 00:11:39,625 --> 00:11:41,791 but Dormammu does not come to bargain. 254 00:11:42,291 --> 00:11:44,500 [Carina chanting magic incantation] 255 00:11:45,291 --> 00:11:47,916 [chanting magic incantation] 256 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:49,250 [Yondu screams] 257 00:11:49,333 --> 00:11:51,583 [people continue chanting] 258 00:11:52,916 --> 00:11:54,916 [Howard the Duck] Jeez, easy, Darce. The wall, the wall. 259 00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:56,375 -[Darcy] It's fine! -Oh, oh! 260 00:11:56,458 --> 00:11:57,458 [Darcy] Quiet, Howard! 261 00:11:57,541 --> 00:11:59,166 You know I can't park when someone is watching! 262 00:11:59,250 --> 00:12:00,291 I'm lookin' away. 263 00:12:03,541 --> 00:12:04,666 That was great, babe. Wow. 264 00:12:05,375 --> 00:12:06,375 [Darcy groans] 265 00:12:06,458 --> 00:12:10,625 Whoa, can't believe you escaped through the sewage tunnels. 266 00:12:10,708 --> 00:12:11,708 [groans] 267 00:12:11,791 --> 00:12:14,125 You won't even use a public restroom. 268 00:12:14,208 --> 00:12:16,291 I'm not proud of it. I did what I had to do. 269 00:12:16,375 --> 00:12:19,000 -Shh! Howard, I hear something creepy. -[indistinct chanting] 270 00:12:19,750 --> 00:12:20,750 Do you hear that? 271 00:12:31,875 --> 00:12:33,666 -Yeah, it's very creepy. -It's very creepy! 272 00:12:34,166 --> 00:12:36,166 [all chanting] 273 00:12:43,250 --> 00:12:44,666 -[Darcy] Howard! -[quacks] 274 00:12:46,833 --> 00:12:48,916 [chanting in unison] 275 00:12:49,500 --> 00:12:51,458 What in the name of Eyes Wide Shut! 276 00:12:53,208 --> 00:12:55,208 [both mumbling] 277 00:12:55,500 --> 00:12:56,875 -...Dormammu. -...Dormammu. 278 00:12:56,958 --> 00:12:58,666 -Yeah, that is right. -Crushin' it. 279 00:13:03,166 --> 00:13:05,041 [gasps] That's our baby! 280 00:13:05,125 --> 00:13:07,333 Oh, no! There's gotta be something we can do! 281 00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:17,833 So, uh, excuse me. What's the deal with the magic act? 282 00:13:17,916 --> 00:13:20,958 We know. Obviously. We just wanna hear it in your words. 283 00:13:21,041 --> 00:13:24,791 Quiet! The "ensoulment" is about to begin. 284 00:13:24,875 --> 00:13:26,583 -Ensoulment? -Ensoulment? 285 00:13:28,583 --> 00:13:34,458 Behold, our Dark Master, Dormammu! 286 00:13:38,291 --> 00:13:41,125 [chanting] 287 00:13:41,208 --> 00:13:44,083 Dormammu, we present to you an offering. 288 00:13:44,625 --> 00:13:47,541 A powerful vessel to serve as your host body, 289 00:13:47,625 --> 00:13:50,125 from which you will be born anew. 290 00:13:50,208 --> 00:13:51,208 Howard! I think 291 00:13:51,291 --> 00:13:54,500 they're tryna Rosemary's Baby this Dormammu guy into our baby! 292 00:13:54,583 --> 00:13:55,916 No. No. No. 293 00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:57,083 [hissing] 294 00:13:58,083 --> 00:13:59,333 Did I get it? 295 00:13:59,416 --> 00:14:01,250 -What the... -What? No! 296 00:14:01,333 --> 00:14:04,083 [all clamoring] 297 00:14:06,208 --> 00:14:07,916 S.H.I.E.L.D.! Nobody move! 298 00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:10,083 I didn't do it! I'm innocent, I tell you! 299 00:14:10,166 --> 00:14:12,333 Relax, Howard. He's not here for us, remember? 300 00:14:12,416 --> 00:14:14,750 Right. Right. It's just a force of habit. 301 00:14:15,833 --> 00:14:17,250 [officer] Hands out of your robes, now! 302 00:14:17,333 --> 00:14:21,875 You are in possession of unauthorized level 11 cosmic contraband. 303 00:14:22,458 --> 00:14:25,500 I would suggest you stand down, Director. 304 00:14:25,583 --> 00:14:28,666 You've no idea what you've found yourself in the middle of. 305 00:14:28,750 --> 00:14:32,583 I understand enough to know that the galaxy will be safest 306 00:14:32,666 --> 00:14:34,375 with that Egg in S.H.I.E.L.D.'s hands. 307 00:14:34,458 --> 00:14:36,500 [Howard the Duck] Uh, S.H.I.E.L.D.'s hands? 308 00:14:36,583 --> 00:14:39,083 [Darcy] [laughs] Thanks, but no thanks, my dude. 309 00:14:39,166 --> 00:14:42,375 Yeah. Look, Your Honor, I appreciate the search and rescue, 310 00:14:42,458 --> 00:14:45,041 but I don't think we're in the market for childcare. 311 00:14:45,125 --> 00:14:46,416 Who the hell are these two? 312 00:14:46,500 --> 00:14:47,916 [quacks] We're the parents. 313 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:50,083 I'm sorry, Mr. and Mrs. The Duck, 314 00:14:50,166 --> 00:14:53,125 but S.H.I.E.L.D. can't entrust a being this powerful 315 00:14:53,208 --> 00:14:55,583 to a first-time mom and a gambling addict. 316 00:14:55,666 --> 00:14:58,208 -Hey! -Recovering gambling addict, thank you! 317 00:14:58,291 --> 00:15:00,250 I got the chip. That's the wrong chip. 318 00:15:00,333 --> 00:15:02,000 Coulson, carton it. 319 00:15:07,666 --> 00:15:12,416 It appears you need some help reorienting your perspective. 320 00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:18,583 -I don't like it! -[indistinct shouting] 321 00:15:21,583 --> 00:15:23,125 If that's how it's gonna be... 322 00:15:24,458 --> 00:15:25,791 -[screams] -[all clamoring] 323 00:15:28,291 --> 00:15:30,750 For Dormam-- [grunts] 324 00:15:30,833 --> 00:15:31,833 Get it, get it! 325 00:15:33,416 --> 00:15:35,625 -Get it! [screams] -Get it! I got my-- 326 00:15:38,083 --> 00:15:39,083 Huh? 327 00:15:39,166 --> 00:15:40,791 -[both sigh] -All right. 328 00:15:42,083 --> 00:15:43,416 [panting] 329 00:15:43,500 --> 00:15:45,208 Let's go. [pants] 330 00:15:46,666 --> 00:15:47,666 Do you hear that? 331 00:15:47,750 --> 00:15:49,625 -Oh? -Oh-ho-ho! 332 00:15:49,708 --> 00:15:51,333 Ask and you shall receive. 333 00:15:51,416 --> 00:15:52,541 I didn't hear you ask anyone. 334 00:15:52,625 --> 00:15:55,416 Well, I was askin', babe. You know, in my head. 335 00:15:58,500 --> 00:16:01,416 Breaking Space News, Terran defense force, S.H.I.E.L.D., 336 00:16:01,500 --> 00:16:04,458 has issued an Ivory Alert for a missing cosmic relic, 337 00:16:04,541 --> 00:16:07,208 last seen leaving Knowhere in a Sakaaran vessel. 338 00:16:07,291 --> 00:16:11,375 [laughs] Well, look at us, like an intergalactic Bonnie and Clyde. 339 00:16:11,458 --> 00:16:14,250 Have you seen that movie, Howard? It does not end great for them. 340 00:16:14,916 --> 00:16:17,166 Look, we need to find someplace where we can lay low. 341 00:16:17,791 --> 00:16:21,791 Not to worry. I know just the place where we can chill. 342 00:16:23,083 --> 00:16:26,875 For too long, Jotunheim has been relegated to the shadows. 343 00:16:26,958 --> 00:16:31,125 But with this, the Nine Realms will have no choice 344 00:16:31,208 --> 00:16:34,583 but to bear witness to our glorious purpose. 345 00:16:35,125 --> 00:16:39,958 Right here at the Jotun Slopes luxury hotel, resort, and casino. 346 00:16:40,041 --> 00:16:42,750 The future of intergalactic winter sports. 347 00:16:43,458 --> 00:16:44,625 That's pretty cool, right? 348 00:16:44,708 --> 00:16:47,750 I mean, my father's not 100% on board just yet, 349 00:16:47,833 --> 00:16:49,958 but, you know, I'm gonna get him there. 350 00:16:50,041 --> 00:16:53,333 Dude, we didn't come here for a sales pitch. We came for your help. 351 00:16:53,416 --> 00:16:55,708 You know, I thought so, and let me just cut to the chase. 352 00:16:55,791 --> 00:16:58,458 I can't wait to be your baby's godfather. 353 00:16:58,541 --> 00:17:00,791 I'm so honored. Thank you. This means the world. 354 00:17:00,875 --> 00:17:02,541 -Is this guy serious right now? -Uh. 355 00:17:02,625 --> 00:17:05,333 [laughs] Listen, as swell as that offer is... 356 00:17:05,416 --> 00:17:07,291 -Yeah. -Really, we're very touched. 357 00:17:07,375 --> 00:17:09,416 What we need right now is shelter. 358 00:17:09,500 --> 00:17:12,041 We're kinda on the lam from a couple of cops. 359 00:17:12,125 --> 00:17:13,916 -And sorcerers. -Pirates, too. 360 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:15,458 So, what do you say? Can you help us out? 361 00:17:15,541 --> 00:17:16,541 What're you talking about? 362 00:17:16,625 --> 00:17:19,916 You're my brother from another mother's old lady's sister from another mister. 363 00:17:20,625 --> 00:17:21,750 Uh... 364 00:17:21,833 --> 00:17:23,416 You're practically family. 365 00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:26,250 [chuckles nervously] Thanks, man. I mean, it has been a long trip, 366 00:17:26,333 --> 00:17:28,791 and we have not been able to catch a break. 367 00:17:31,333 --> 00:17:35,125 Oh! Is that guests already? Hang on, wait, our soft opening isn't for a few days. 368 00:17:35,208 --> 00:17:38,083 I don't think they're here for you. 369 00:17:43,208 --> 00:17:48,541 Mr. and Mrs. The Duck, I told you to leave this to us! 370 00:17:48,625 --> 00:17:50,500 Ah, Sir Nicholas Fury! 371 00:17:50,583 --> 00:17:52,041 [chuckles softly] Let's go! 372 00:17:55,291 --> 00:17:56,458 Quickly. Quickly. 373 00:17:56,541 --> 00:17:57,541 Oh, Father! 374 00:17:57,625 --> 00:18:02,791 So much for this grand opening of yours, my son. 375 00:18:02,875 --> 00:18:05,708 [chuckles] These are my friends. See them to safety, yes? 376 00:18:05,791 --> 00:18:07,958 Or we can take this... 377 00:18:08,041 --> 00:18:09,583 -Dad! What are you doing? -No, no, no! 378 00:18:09,666 --> 00:18:13,083 -Give it back. -And return Jotunheim to its former glory. 379 00:18:13,166 --> 00:18:14,708 No! No return to former glory! 380 00:18:14,791 --> 00:18:16,208 -This is embarrassing! -S.H.I.E.L.D.! 381 00:18:16,291 --> 00:18:17,291 -Nobody move! -Dad! 382 00:18:17,375 --> 00:18:18,666 Surrender the artifact! 383 00:18:18,750 --> 00:18:21,166 My brother from another mother will not look kindly on this. 384 00:18:21,250 --> 00:18:23,083 [thunder rumbling] 385 00:18:23,166 --> 00:18:24,500 See? I told you. 386 00:18:24,583 --> 00:18:26,333 [explosion] 387 00:18:30,541 --> 00:18:34,000 I don't think it's who you think it is. 388 00:18:34,875 --> 00:18:37,958 Kneel before Zeus! 389 00:18:38,041 --> 00:18:40,458 Oh, good, you're already kneeling. 390 00:18:40,541 --> 00:18:43,208 Now, where is this Egg I saw written in the stars? 391 00:18:43,291 --> 00:18:45,708 Okay, cool. Well, we're heading south for the winter. 392 00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:47,333 Never been much of a snowbird anyway. 393 00:18:47,416 --> 00:18:48,958 -Darce, let's get outta here. -Come on! 394 00:18:50,333 --> 00:18:51,500 Hey, what do I got? 395 00:18:51,583 --> 00:18:54,916 Thunderbolt! Thunderbolt! Thunderbolt, thunderbolt! 396 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,208 That guy shocked me! 397 00:18:56,291 --> 00:18:57,708 I'm comin' back for you, buddy! 398 00:18:58,250 --> 00:18:59,250 Darce! 399 00:18:59,333 --> 00:19:03,750 Hark, the child born under the stars of the Convergence is ours to take. 400 00:19:03,833 --> 00:19:09,791 And with it, we shall finally plunge the Nine Realms into eternal darkness. 401 00:19:09,875 --> 00:19:12,291 Get out of my way! I am a Master of the Dark Arts! 402 00:19:12,375 --> 00:19:14,791 I'm a Dark Elf. It's in the name, you dimwit! 403 00:19:14,875 --> 00:19:16,291 -Heretic! -Thunderbolt! 404 00:19:16,875 --> 00:19:17,958 Hey! 405 00:19:18,041 --> 00:19:20,083 Hear me and rejoice. 406 00:19:20,166 --> 00:19:23,291 Oh, no! You're not getting your mitts on our magical kid! 407 00:19:23,375 --> 00:19:25,291 What? No. We're just here for a company retreat. 408 00:19:25,375 --> 00:19:26,750 -We have a Groupon. -Okay. 409 00:19:26,833 --> 00:19:30,625 Uh, wait. Did you say "magical kid"? 410 00:19:30,708 --> 00:19:33,000 -[scoffs] Howard! -Sorry! 411 00:19:33,083 --> 00:19:35,333 We might want to call this one in. 412 00:19:35,416 --> 00:19:36,875 Thunderbolt for you! 413 00:19:36,958 --> 00:19:38,583 [all grunt] 414 00:19:41,500 --> 00:19:42,750 Get up, no, no... 415 00:19:48,291 --> 00:19:50,166 Mama's got you, Junior! 416 00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:52,291 [Grandmaster] My fabulous Egg. 417 00:19:52,375 --> 00:19:54,291 -DJ Foam? -The omelet man! 418 00:19:54,375 --> 00:19:56,291 We meet again. What're the odds? 419 00:19:56,833 --> 00:19:59,791 No, seriously, I'm asking you, what are the odds? 420 00:20:00,375 --> 00:20:02,958 -No, no, no. Howard! -Oh, no! 421 00:20:05,041 --> 00:20:06,458 -Oh, no, no, no! -No, no, no! 422 00:20:06,541 --> 00:20:08,458 Oh, come to Papa. 423 00:20:11,541 --> 00:20:14,750 -Sparkles! Huh? -Oh, no, we're going down. Abandon ship. 424 00:20:14,833 --> 00:20:16,750 -[explosion] -[Grandmaster laughs] 425 00:20:17,500 --> 00:20:18,708 No, no, no! Howard! 426 00:20:18,791 --> 00:20:21,541 Excuse me. Just makin' my way. Daddy's got you, baby. 427 00:20:21,625 --> 00:20:22,708 [all clamoring] 428 00:20:22,791 --> 00:20:24,291 Faster, Howard, faster! 429 00:20:24,375 --> 00:20:25,958 I'm running as fast as I can! 430 00:20:29,083 --> 00:20:31,041 The Stones? Is this about the Stones? 431 00:20:31,125 --> 00:20:32,791 Have you found them? Where are they? 432 00:20:34,375 --> 00:20:37,875 An egg? You called me for an egg? 433 00:20:37,958 --> 00:20:39,666 It's magical? 434 00:20:42,541 --> 00:20:44,791 [all screaming] 435 00:20:44,875 --> 00:20:46,041 Yello. 436 00:20:46,125 --> 00:20:48,041 Oh. Whoa, whoa, whoa! 437 00:20:49,583 --> 00:20:50,583 [groans] 438 00:20:50,666 --> 00:20:52,416 -Oh. Whoa. -Come on, Duck! 439 00:20:52,500 --> 00:20:53,583 [Howard the Duck screams] 440 00:20:54,666 --> 00:20:55,750 No! 441 00:20:56,333 --> 00:20:59,291 Yeah! Yodelheim rules! 442 00:20:59,375 --> 00:21:02,583 Yeah! The The Ducks can't be stopped! 443 00:21:05,291 --> 00:21:06,791 -No! -Hold up. 444 00:21:08,375 --> 00:21:09,583 [Howard the Duck, Darcy scream] 445 00:21:12,625 --> 00:21:14,958 And there goes your trust fund. 446 00:21:16,041 --> 00:21:17,041 All of it? 447 00:21:17,125 --> 00:21:19,125 [Howard the Duck, Darcy scream] 448 00:21:26,583 --> 00:21:27,875 [both grunting] 449 00:21:27,958 --> 00:21:29,500 -[pants] -[groaning] 450 00:21:32,083 --> 00:21:34,083 [screaming, rumbling in distance] 451 00:21:39,375 --> 00:21:42,791 This can't be it, Howard. Can it? 452 00:21:45,291 --> 00:21:46,291 [sighs] 453 00:21:46,958 --> 00:21:48,166 Who can say? 454 00:21:49,416 --> 00:21:52,916 I never would've thunk a life like this could've been written in the stars. 455 00:21:53,916 --> 00:21:55,500 A girl like you... 456 00:21:57,208 --> 00:21:58,666 I mean, a duck like me. 457 00:21:59,333 --> 00:22:02,458 Thank God that bar was offering half-price nachos. 458 00:22:02,541 --> 00:22:05,250 Well, the nachos might've sealed the deal, but... 459 00:22:06,041 --> 00:22:07,041 I always knew. 460 00:22:08,625 --> 00:22:10,541 We were brought together for something more. 461 00:22:13,291 --> 00:22:14,750 I always knew it, too. 462 00:22:15,416 --> 00:22:19,333 [screaming, rumbling continues] 463 00:22:20,750 --> 00:22:23,000 [humming "I Was Made for Lovin' You" by KISS] 464 00:22:36,333 --> 00:22:39,541 ♪ You were made for lovin' me ♪ 465 00:22:39,625 --> 00:22:42,500 [all screaming] 466 00:22:42,583 --> 00:22:46,166 ♪ I can't get enough of you, baby ♪ 467 00:22:46,250 --> 00:22:48,875 ♪ Can you get enough of me? ♪ 468 00:22:48,958 --> 00:22:49,958 Never. 469 00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:56,541 [both singing] ♪ I was made for lovin' you, baby ♪ 470 00:22:56,625 --> 00:22:58,916 ♪ I was made for lovin' you, baby ♪ 471 00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:00,000 ♪ You know that! ♪ 472 00:23:00,083 --> 00:23:01,166 [pinging] 473 00:23:01,250 --> 00:23:02,250 Uh... 474 00:23:02,875 --> 00:23:03,958 Darce... 475 00:23:13,208 --> 00:23:16,625 -Ah, that power. -So pure. 476 00:23:16,708 --> 00:23:19,625 -It's divine. -So beautiful. 477 00:23:19,708 --> 00:23:22,958 Just as it was written in the stars. 478 00:23:23,041 --> 00:23:24,041 Seize it! 479 00:23:24,125 --> 00:23:26,458 [KISS "I Was Made for Lovin' You" playing] 480 00:23:35,083 --> 00:23:36,916 Wow! Darce, look at this. 481 00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:38,875 This kid might have some magic of its own! 482 00:23:38,958 --> 00:23:40,500 Maybe we should keep singing? 483 00:23:40,583 --> 00:23:44,750 ♪ Oh, I was made for lovin' you, baby ♪ 484 00:23:44,833 --> 00:23:48,333 ♪ You were made for lovin' me ♪ 485 00:23:48,416 --> 00:23:52,333 ♪ And I can't get enough of you, baby ♪ 486 00:23:52,416 --> 00:23:56,083 ♪ Can you get enough of me? ♪ 487 00:23:56,166 --> 00:23:57,625 [lightning crackles] 488 00:23:57,708 --> 00:23:59,750 -You all right, Coulson? -I'm good, boss. 489 00:23:59,833 --> 00:24:02,333 So, you know, what do you think of the resort? 490 00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:17,833 There's... There's too many of them. 491 00:24:18,333 --> 00:24:21,250 No! There's gotta be somethin' else we can do. 492 00:24:21,333 --> 00:24:22,750 [both groaning, grunting] 493 00:24:33,166 --> 00:24:34,291 Howard, the baby! 494 00:24:42,166 --> 00:24:43,458 [cracking] 495 00:24:44,666 --> 00:24:45,750 [all gasp] 496 00:24:45,833 --> 00:24:47,291 [all screaming] 497 00:24:59,208 --> 00:25:02,791 Okay, okay, this was fun, but I have an orgy to get to. 498 00:25:05,458 --> 00:25:09,833 [all screaming] 499 00:25:46,375 --> 00:25:48,250 [gasps] Um, Howard? 500 00:25:48,791 --> 00:25:53,583 And to think I was worried you wouldn't be able to protect her. 501 00:25:53,666 --> 00:25:57,375 Yeah, yeah. She's a natural-born slugger, just like her old man. 502 00:25:57,458 --> 00:25:59,916 Oh, no need for that. I was wrong. 503 00:26:02,958 --> 00:26:06,166 Power that great is safest with its family. 504 00:26:14,625 --> 00:26:15,875 You guys got this. 505 00:26:16,416 --> 00:26:17,416 Fury out! 506 00:26:21,791 --> 00:26:23,833 Hi, guys. Hi, hi. 507 00:26:24,708 --> 00:26:28,750 Listen, I've talked it over with my father and to make amends... 508 00:26:28,833 --> 00:26:32,958 We'd like to comp you a room at the lodge. And... 509 00:26:33,041 --> 00:26:36,583 Honestly, it's the least we could do. Really, my friends. We insist. 510 00:26:37,541 --> 00:26:38,833 Full minibar. 511 00:26:39,458 --> 00:26:40,458 Mm. 512 00:26:41,333 --> 00:26:42,541 What do you think, babe? 513 00:26:43,708 --> 00:26:45,791 Never been one to turn down a free trip, 514 00:26:46,375 --> 00:26:48,916 but there's only one place in the world I wanna be. 515 00:26:52,458 --> 00:26:57,125 [The Watcher] Even in an endless universe, there's no place like home. 516 00:26:58,291 --> 00:27:03,125 And parents are the greatest heroes of all. 517 00:27:10,166 --> 00:27:14,416 Aw. Our little Byrdie. She's perfect. 518 00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:16,625 Yeah. She is, isn't she? 519 00:27:18,041 --> 00:27:19,666 All right, like we rehearsed. 520 00:27:20,500 --> 00:27:21,583 Step... 521 00:27:21,666 --> 00:27:25,583 -Step. And step. And step. -Step. And step. And step. 522 00:27:25,666 --> 00:27:26,875 -You get the door. -Fine. 523 00:27:32,125 --> 00:27:33,125 [Byrdie crying] 524 00:27:33,208 --> 00:27:34,750 -No! -Oh, God. Did you do the bottle? 525 00:27:34,833 --> 00:27:37,041 -You're supposed to do the bottle. -No, the bottle's fine, Howard. 526 00:27:37,125 --> 00:27:39,250 No, it's way too hot. You can't give a bottle that hot. 527 00:27:39,333 --> 00:27:40,875 It's the blanket. She hates the color! 528 00:27:40,958 --> 00:27:42,250 Why'd we get her this color? 529 00:27:42,333 --> 00:27:45,333 [♪ pleasant instrumental music playing] 530 00:28:26,291 --> 00:28:29,291 [theme music playing]